What Marriage Really Needs: Not Love, But Commitment
But in fact, after love enters marriage, it often cannot stand the test of trivial life and fades quickly.
Those long-tested marriages that are still harmonious and stable never depend on love itself, but on the belief in love and the awe of marriage.
Love, in fact, does not need gorgeous packaging and decoration, the more plain it is, the stronger it is. Marriage, in fact, does not require sensational romance, but requires the husband and wife to share the wind and rain.
When in love, you can talk about love to your heart’s content, you can be like a child, occasionally willful, occasionally hypocritical, noisy is all fun. But after getting married, you have to learn to be a real adult.
What is a real adult? Not self-willed, not hypocritical, is the real adult? Not really.
Real adults also have emotions, but they can control them; real adults will not put love first, but put responsibility first.
Real adults will understand that what marriage needs most is not love, but one word: COMMITMENT.
Love is a fairy tale, marriage is life.
The love in fairy tales always ends with “the prince and princess lived a happy and beautiful life from then on”, but the love in reality begins a historic turning point from the day of marriage.
A marriage based on love is indeed happier than a marriage for the sake of marriage, but whether this kind of happiness can last for a long time depends on whether the husband and wife can jointly shoulder the responsibility of marriage.
What are the responsibilities of marriage? It is to build a family together, raise children together, and support the elderly together.
It is these basic responsibilities that many people are unwilling to undertake.
A young mother confides on the Internet, saying that she has just given birth to a child for a few months, and she does all the housework at home. Coax, I only know how to call her.
She said loudly while cooking: “The child may have urinated, please change the diaper.”
The husband directly said: “I don’t know how to do it.”
At night, when the child was crying, she was the only one who hugged and coaxed her. Not only did my husband ignore him, but he also thought he was disturbing him to sleep. He often yelled at her, saying that she couldn’t even coax the child well.
There are many men in life who still think in the old society, do nothing at home, think that housework, child care and other trivial matters are women’s business, even if they are idle, they are unwilling to help.
A man like this just doesn’t have a correct understanding of how he should take on the responsibilities of marriage. If things go on like this, women can’t bear it, and the marriage is likely to come to an end.
When I’m single, I don’t feel too deeply about the pressure of life. Anyway, if one person is full, the whole family will not be hungry. When you get married, have children, and your parents are getting old day by day, the situation is different.
Many people now lament that when people reach middle age, they are under a lot of pressure, but they can only grit their teeth and move forward with a heavy load.
In most families, the most stressed person is the man. After all, a man is the pillar and must support his wife and children.
Generally speaking, the stronger the sense of responsibility and the more responsible a man is, the greater the mental stress will be. If the wife is an understanding woman who knows how to soothe a man’s heart, that is the blessing of a man’s life. If the wife is a materialistic woman who always complains about life and scolds the man, it will be a lifetime of pain for the man.
If a marriage is to be harmonious, stable, and long-lasting, both husband and wife must bear the pressure of life together.
The so-called pressure of life is not limited to economic pressure, there are many, many aspects. For example, they are both parents for the first time, and no one knows how to be a good father or mother. Facing a rebellious child, it is inevitable to feel anxious inside.
I really want to be a good father and mother, but it is really difficult, and the pressure is getting bigger and bigger.
At this time, the husband and wife have to face it together and bear it together, and no one can think of being a shopkeeper, otherwise it will only lead to more and more problems, more and more conflicts, and even affect the harmony and stability of the marriage.
Many things in life will bring pressure to people. Many pressures cannot be borne by one person and need to be shared by two people. Understand this truth, and face it positively without evading it, and there will definitely be no problems in marriage.
Life is full of unknowns and variables, and no one knows what will happen in the next second.
I know a second-married couple. The man is very capable and the woman is very smart. The two work together to run the family well, and there is no problem in the relationship between the husband and wife.
However, the weather is different, the man suddenly fell ill and spent a lot of money on medical treatment, but he was only half a useless person, so thin that he couldn’t walk a few steps, so he had to lie down quickly.
After the woman took care of him for a long time, she filed for divorce. They were married twice, and each had their own children, so it would be easy to divorce. It’s just that the man was reluctant, and begged her to stay with him with kind words, saying that when he recovered, he could still earn a lot of money.
The woman felt that he had become like this, and after talking about anything else, she didn’t want to spend the rest of her life in it, so she had to leave.
In the end, the man let go and the woman found another man.
There is a saying: “Husband and wife are originally birds in the same forest, and when disaster strikes, they fly separately.”
This is about human nature, it is difficult to judge right from wrong. But if a person dares to take unknown risks, he will not leave cruelly when the other party is most helpless.
Life is always full of unknown risks. If you choose to enter into marriage, you must bravely bear all the unknowns in the other person. No matter rich or poor, regardless of health or disease, no matter good times or bad times, you should never leave.
This is the true meaning of marriage.
What marriage really needs is not love, but commitment. Take the responsibility of marriage, bear the pressure of life, and take unknown risks.
Love is dreamy and simple; marriage is secular and sacred.
True love will gradually sublimate after entering into marriage. Although it is not as enthusiastic as it was at the beginning, it can make two people grow up quickly and become more responsible.
Although there will also be sentimentality of love fading, but that is only a temporary emotion and has no effect on marriage. Because, what marriage really needs is not lingering love, but the belief that dares to bear everything!